She's as cold as ice...

 I had to do my nails tonight.  Do you do your own nails?  Most of my life I have...

I used to watch my mother and my older sisters "do" their nails on a regular basis.  I chewed mine, for the most part.  But that was then and this is now.

I don't like "nail salons"....not at all...hate the whole idea of it.  Hate the noxious smell.  Hate the subjugation of the women who "do" the nails....hate it, hate it, hate it.  

I never felt comfortable...ha!  Comfortable???? I felt like a freaking leper!!!  What am I doing here?  These women all staring at me...why?  It smells bad in here...am I being poisoned? 

Usually I went because I got a "gift."  Yep.  A gift.  So I had to use it.  Oy.  And vey.  I don't use nail polish....I tried, on some rare occasions....but I always felt like my nails were being suffocated.  And it always looked like crap in a day or less...so what was the point?  And...frankly, it's stupid.  Why?  Why? We aren't born with colored nails....why?  And before you compare it to clothes...we can take them off....this shit is painted onto your body......and has to be removed with MORE toxic chemicals.  No. No. Not for me.  Do men really care?  Do I really care if men really care?  I just didn't want to walk around with whore nails....had no desire or inclination.  I didn't feel like it made me "pretty."

So...I had to "do" my nails tonight.  I have to do them when big fat orange Percy isn't around because he is nuts about emery boards.  

I fed the beasts....so Percy is confined to his "bedroom" (don't worry, he likes it...he WANTS to be there, believe me) and then set about to "do" my nails.

Each one had a different nail salon.  I swear.  One nail was so bad, she was yelled at.  "How did you get so bad?"  Another was just a little "off" on top....."Tsk, tsk....it's ok, I fix"....Another one was raggedy...."OMIGOD!!"  Each nail went to their private salon and got themselves prettied up for the world. And then there were the ones who had behaved themselves......silence.

Together they may now enter the world at large yet again.